Random Rantings

Seven years out of school and I’ve completed my quota of higher studies for the time being, worked part/ full time from the time I left school, indulged myself in numerous extracurricular “arty” activities that I love, and am now taking a much-needed break from my rather hectic 20’s. I feel it’s high time I sit back and take a look at where my life is heading. I guess I’ve been so afraid of the “where I’d be in ten years” factor, that I completely overlooked the rather crucial “where I am right now” factor! Am I part of a strange breed, or is this very much part and parcel of being “twenty-something?”

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The National Council for Mental Health – Sahanaya is a non profit non governmental organization working towards the development of mental health and mental health care in Sri Lanka.

Sahanaya is badly in need of volunteers (preferably youth) who are willing to dedicate a few hours a week to help with their various in-house projects. Some of the work involved would revolve around working directly with the clients of Sahanaya and thus, could be quite challenging and interesting. So, do try to help if you can. If you or anyone you know is interested please contact Sheriene at Sahanaya on 2685960.

For more details feel free to visit www.sahanaya.org

Please be kind enough to put up a simialr notice asking for volunteers on your respective blogs too! Thank you all so much!

(Inspired by the children I met in Jaffna. Follows after the poem Until it Snows)

I love the quiet. I love the pure, white finish of funeral shrouds. My world is troubled and noisy. My world is dusty, dirty and very dull since the guns began to fire. It leaves me longing for the silence of death.

Until the guns are silent.

I long for the peace that death brings. The thought of it helps me think about peaceful things. Like the way we used to laugh and play. My world is not peaceful.

Until the guns are silent.

I loath the memories the guns bring to mind. I cannot see the joy of Christmas in the things falling from the sky. I cannot hear the songs for my crying drowns it out. I cannot see the beauty in the piling up of dead. My world needs joy and laughter. It lacks so much.

Until the guns are silent.

I see the contrast blood brings. We are bathed in it, bombarded from all sides with flashing, brilliant, sparkling lights. Black, white, brown, gray and blood red limit us. My world is overwhelming.

Until the guns are silent.

I love the “slow” that death brings. My life is harried, rushed and moving too fast through check points and queues outside the grocery store, behind the barbed wire and the bars.

Until the guns are silent.

I take nothing for granted. I have no hope of losing myself in having too many choices. I only want another day of life in peace. I only want not to be afraid. I only want to be able to smile. I want to know my father and mother. But I can’t

Until the guns are silent.

Please help silence the guns so that these children can look forward to a normal life.

- Ange

All I can hear is the monotonous sound of the fan blades running after each other, almost like a race which no one can win. Now and then this continuous hum is interrupted by the sound of my fingers tapping on the key board…. The little bit of noise that is left in the room would soon be swept away. And everything will be still. Will it return tomorrow? I ask my self, what is sound?

The white walls, the white computer screens, the white ceiling have won the battle over all the colours around me. My eyes could only see white. Everywhere. White. And then I stop to think, isn’t white a colour?…or is it?

I get carried away, with a gentle draft that brushes against my skin. I wonder if it’s the fan that’s creating it. Or is it the frills of her skirt as she spins in front of me. But there’s no laughter… her voice is lost in an echo. “Kiri kiri bollei….”. I wonder if my eyes were wrong to see her smile that day. Was she really smiling…?

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February 4, 2008 marked the 60th Anniversary of the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka’s Independence. Big plans were made, great anticipation hung in the air, as the day finally dawned with much pomp and pageantry! A 21-gun salute heralded the arrival of the President, who promptly made the Independence Day Address, where he promised to “…liberate the Island’s North from the clutches of terrorism…” After which the Sri Lankan Armed Forces all decked out in their military regalia marched past, with the might of the country’s armoury in tow. The 100 foot flag pole erected on the Galle Face Green, which was hoisted via remote control by the President himself, was by far the highlight of the day. Upon reaching its zenith, 60 white doves were set free and countless clusters of helium balloons in the hues of the national flag, painted the sky. A spectacular air show and a menacing fleet of battleships lent itself to the “grandiose facade…”

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