‘Do unto others what you would have done unto you’
As written by a friend.
It is inconceivable that the maxim ‘do unto others what you would have done unto you’ could be erroneous. It is a fundamental belief that has been instilled in our lives from the time we could understand the spoken language. But time and time again in life we find this to be untrue.
Let me clarify, is doing the right thing at any cost the prudent thing to do? Is putting someone else’s happiness above your needs the smart thing to do? As a person who has been converted to cynicism through life’s events, I would probably say that this is not the smart thing to do.
Recently I met this girl (and no this is not going to be the typical story). Who for the record I think is one of the greatest people that I’ve had the fortune of ever coming across. Her boyfriend had cheated on her (referred to hereafter as ‘the asshole’), and she was understandably distraught. When we started speaking to each other believe you me it was only through friendship .Nothing else even crossed my mind. But speaking to her everyday throughout the day naturally made us closer. I understood what she went through, even before she found out he cheated on her. He was just an asshole. I say this without bias. Of course nature took its course and we figured out that we were attracted to each other. With her I spent one day that I will never forget for as long as I live. One day where I ad the most enjoyable time I’ve spent with anyone in a really long time.
Subsequently she decided that if she doesn’t give ‘the asshole’ another chance she’ll always wonder whether it was the right thing to do. At this point I don’t mind admitting I was rather, floored. My gut says he will hurt her. That it is ineveitable. In between a lot of things happened that which complicated matters by a ten fold. Ill save all the boring details for a latter time. So now the situation was she wanted me to be her friend and wanted to give him another chance. Me, who she trusts implicitly, and he, who she distrusts to the very core of her heart. ME, whom she wishes she met before she met the asshole and HE who broke her heart into a zillion pieces.
I’ve been wrestling with these thoughts in my mind, for countless amounts of hours. So I thought should I list them down it would be different. No, it still doesn’t make any sense to me. But I’ve long since realized that relationships don’t make any sense.
Thus I concluded based also on a few other varied experiences by me and a few others that assholes almost always wind up with the girl. The solution would then be simple one would think. BE AN ASSHOLE. But that is easier said than done. So I contemplated and realized that the only objective for me is to see her happy. To make her smile as I’ve done countless amounts of times. If she can be happy with him then so be it. Then the question was what to do about it. To my mind as long a I was around even if she did get back together with the asshole, my presence would only complicate matters, and no matter how much of an asshole he is , it wouldn’t be fair to him if I was around. So I decided to walk away. And not be the asshole.
I try to convince my self that this was the right thing to do. That if I stayed and fought for her I would have only complicated her life and made her unhappy. I guess I would never know.
In the midst of all this I was sitting in class and one of my lecturers was indulging in his usual rhetoric. He was relaying this story about how he helped one of his friends to study the night before an exam. He charged 1500 Sterling Pounds to help his friend. One would have thought that given my present state of mind that I would empathize with this. But I found this thoroughly reprehensible. Which I told him. Then he went on about as to why you should always attach a value and expect something in return. This was a twist to the do unto others maxim as I have known.
That night I gave it a great deal of thought, and I realized that ill never want to be an asshole. If I was given the choice of going through the same thing would I do it again??. Rather stupidly I think I might (with a few things changed of course). If I have the opportunity to make someone smile, laugh or feel better about them, then isn’t that what is probably expected of me. I was made this was for a reason. I know I made her smile, I know I made her laugh. I know I made her feel better about herself. I got hurt, yes. But one smile, one laugh, one hug and one touch was worth it, and I would have settled for one of each rather than go a lifetime without it. So I respectfully differ with my lecturer. You can’t attach value to everything. Do I believe that you should do unto others what you want done unto you? No I don’t. I’ll do unto others because I can. Because I want to I’ll always try and put another’s happiness before mine. The asshole can have her. I’ve found something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I hope he will too.
