The Cat in you!
“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” said Eleanor Roosevelt. Keeping this in mind, have you ever pretended to claw your face and meow at a friend who was bad-mouthing someone else with a passion? Like it or not, however nice you may be, something or someone will bring out the cat in you. The frequency and intensity of the outburst however may vary from person to person but, nevertheless there is that cat lurking within each one of us, awaiting its chance to lunge forward. No matter how hard we try to conceal or suppress this side of us, its prevalence is inevitable and it ‘will’ surface eventually. There’s no stopping it but, you can give curtailing it, your best shot!
The obvious instances would be when your boy friends ex-girlfriend or your boss who refuses to give you a raise or your mother-in-law is the object of ‘discussion’ (putting it politely!). However, there are some people who don’t really have any personal vendetta against anyone to air their negative views about, but do so anyway, regarding random strangers who they come across in everyday life. There are the few though who aren’t so easily prone to speak badly of or get irritated by people or situations… interesting isn’t to discover what sets off these types?
There are some who feel that by venting out their true feelings about their adversary, they might be able to deal with their discontentment better and others who just need an outlet for their pent up feelings. So instead of confrontation, we opt to bad mouth. Seems logical enough… doesn’t it. However, there’s a fine line between venting out your frustrations and fabricating material against whomever in question, just to get your own back.
Those of us who can’t seem to stop ourselves from B%/*ing about others because it’s become almost habitual by now, are the ones in real trouble. Trouble because this means that talking badly about people comes naturally to you and you’re almost doing it unconsciously. It’s like two people are out shopping together when one says to the other, in reference to a big made girl in a figure hugging outfit, “My gosh! look at what she’s wearing? She looks like an overgrown elephant in that” or “Machang did you see the way that girl was behaving last night? Looks like quite a fast bit no?” Do comments like this actually help us feel better about ourselves or do we do it out of sheer boredom or lack of anything better to talk of?
How many of us would actually have the guts to walk up to these very same two people and tell them to their face, what we think of them? Not many methinks. Also, what part of these comments exactly can we consider as being productive to the person in focus? Furthermore, when does it become any of our business to begin with?
What about those who ardently abide by the commandment ‘love your neighbour as yourself’? Even they must have a break point right? Take Jane in ‘Pride and Prejudice’ who was the sweetest most amiable of the Bennet sisters. She never thought ill of anyone, until she was forced to see things as they were. Although her more perceptive sister Elizabeth disliked the Bingley sisters from the start and saw through their façade, Jane refused to think badly of them.
Later on though when the Bingley sisters convinced their brother that Jane wasn’t in love with him and made him go to London with them so he could fall in love with Georgiana Darcy, which would be more to their advantage. This fact was heightened when Caroline Bingley wrote to Jane regarding her brothers ‘supposed’ plans for the future and the cold reception Jane was given in London, by them. Finally the truth dawned on her and she saw how insincere and superficial they really were. This eventual realisation she later admits to her confidante cum beloved sister Lizzie via a letter.
So even the best of us see bad in others sometimes. It’s just a matter of what pushes you over the top. For Jane it was ‘a tug at the heart strings’. Some of us may break ‘at the drop of a pin’ but others, need much more of a shove to think or say badly about another. Sometimes, things someone could just shoot off their mouth at a moment of rage or in the heat of argument. Yet others will ponder about it, have it eat at your insides for ions of years and then say something.
There’s no real right or wrong situation here. It’s just a matter of how each of us choose to deal with the least favourite people in our lives. Just my personal opinion but, the sporadic voicing about random people you see everyday doesn’t really have much justification. It’s just an unpleasant habit that one has to either grow out of or consciously make an effort to not do. As for venting out frustrations etc. maybe it could be healthy to an extent but direct confrontation might be much healthier and much more effective on the long run, depending on the circumstance of course. Otherwise just imagine the amount of people who’d be trying to fix an appointment to have a one-on-one with George Bush, then?
